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Buddhist Jokes

Laughter is the best medicine I have found, and no laughter can be more pure that that ensuing from a buddhist joke, so here goes:

1. A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws by hand. 

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !" His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE !!! " 

2. Why are there no good Buddhist blues guitarists? 

They have no soul. 

3. Simpering debutante latching onto Buddhism as a fashion statement, to make her seem more spiritual, holy, wholesome and chastely pure.... (think Paris Hilton on a zafu....)  meets Dalai Lama backstage, (rich daddy got her a stage-pass!) after his talk on attachment, materialism and the suffering of the affluent west...
"Oh Dali," she croons, clutching her hands under her chin, " i just loooved your talk thing with all the maroon robe and smelly stuff, it was so keeewel!"
The Dalai Lama, smiling as ever, bows slightly... bemused....
"Yeah, well....great.... anyway, you'll never guess what??
My daddy, who's a real big fan of yours, (he's bought all your records and stuff)... you know, he made a bet with me, and he bet me that if i can just get you to say three words, to me, personally, just to me..." *squeals in anticipated delight*, "he says he'll buy me a brand new arctic fox fur coat! isn't that just thebest..?!?
so what do you say, Dali dearest?"

HH the Dalai Lama pauses, smiles, and replies -
"Daddy wins!"

4. Why did the Buddhist coroner get fired?
He kept marking the cause of death as "birth".

5. One zen student said, “My teacher is the best. He can go days without eating.” 

The second said, “My teacher has so much self-control, he can go days without sleep.”
The third said, “My teacher is so wise that he eats when he’s hungry and sleeps when he’s tired.”

Have a blessed day!